My Daughter, The Grand Inquisitor
Published Thursday, September 1st 2011 - Updated Thursday, September 1st 2011My in-laws have moved to town.
I know that some of you are wincing in sympathy, perhaps wondering why I chose such a public forum to air my dirty laundry. Or maybe you're thinking you're going to hear some juicy, dysfunctional family horror stories.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is, I love my in-laws. They're wonderful people and they've decided to uproot their lives - lives that have been spent entirely in Maryland - to come live near us so our daughters will grow up knowing them. I think it's wonderful. I couldn't be happier.
Which is why, when recently my 4-year-old started honing and perfecting her interrogation techniques on them, that I began to get a little panicky.
As any of you with young children are sure to know, they ask questions about everything. And not just one question: It's usually a series of questions about the same exact thing, each question worded slightly differently and each asked in rapid-fire format over and over and over again, until you think you're just going to go insane because you have had to explain 23 times that yes, the evil queen in Snow White disguises herself as a hag to trick Snow White into eating the poison apple and yes, the animals go get the dwarves to save her and no, they don't make it there in time and why, why, WHY???!?
What also concerns me is that she is setting an example for her 2-year-old sister, who hangs on her every word and echoes her faithfully. One night in the midst of a particularly grueling session, my two year old entered the room and my father-in-law said, "Here comes the Assistant DA..."
My oldest cornered my poor mother-in-law in the bathroom and began her Snow White interrogation session. After about 15 minutes of this, my mother-in-law looked at me with that deer-in-headlights expression and said, "I hear the CIA is looking for a new form of torture!"
So I was a bit concerned that my in-laws would run screaming into the night until they signed on the dotted line and purchased their house, thereby committing themselves to a future, at least in the short term, of endless curious questions. But, I have to say,at least my girls are cute as buttons and God help them, they do make us laugh. I'll take that over waterboarding anytime.
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